


The Spirit of the Forest

by arixng



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 23:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14146518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arixng/pseuds/arixng
Summary: Born with a weak heart and dying spirit, Kanda is sent away from the city to live near a forest and seaside town. There, he meets the spirit of the forest who rekindles his will to live.





	The Spirit of the Forest

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5: Wind | Autumn, Strength, Wild, Unstable, Fresh

\----

 

Fifteen years. 

 

To an outsider’s point of view, fifteen years measure the amount of time Kanda has spent living on earth. 

 

But to Kanda, fifteen years measure the amount of time he spent preparing to die. 

 

He was a young boy with a strong and steadfast mindset - but born with a weak and frail heart. Surely, it was no one’s fault he had ended up that way. His mother had taken good care of him when he was a child- god bless her soul. She didn’t have a history of health complications, nor did anything that could risk a miscarriage. Kanda’s mother was loving and provided him everything he needed to live a happy life. It’s just that, some misfortune beyond their control chose to befall on him. His father, on the other hand, had disappeared from his life when his condition worsened and the medical bills became a hindrance to his freedom. So god fuck his soul, Kanda thought bitterly. His mother died when he was seven and his father left him a few months after. 

 

After all the inevitable grief and the issue of who would be responsible for him, his grandmother took him in and let him study at the private school nearby her home. And as much as he appreciated her genuine concern for his welfare and upbringing, if he were to be honest, he hated attending school. All around him, he sees a myriad of opportunities he greatly wanted to do but couldn’t because of his godforsaken heart. All he was allowed to do was study and read and he wasn’t interested in that. He was itching to move, to run, to  _ fight _ . Not the kind of fighting delinquents would do, but fight in the sense of competing against another through sports and other exhilarating physical activities. He wanted to feel the adrenaline people talk about; he wanted to feel the excitement of reaching the apex of his body’s capabilities. Yet all he was allowed to do was to sit and watch. 

 

Of course, Kanda had tried being rebellious about staying still. He  _ was _ inherently stubborn and headstrong. So one day when he was thirteen, he had committed one of the most reckless acts he has ever done in his life. Instead of sitting down like usual during physical education, Kanda ran on the oval while the teacher was busy timing three other students on the other lanes. His classmates were at awe, amazed at how fast he was running and deduced that he was healing and getting better. But before he could reach twenty seconds, Kanda felt his heart palpitating to an abnormal degree until he felt it stop. Then he blacked out and was brought to the hospital. When he was brought back to consciousness, his grandmother threw a fit and scolded him so hard she could’ve been the one to suffer from a heart attack. But he knew she meant well so he didn’t talk back. He  _ did  _ do something really stupid, after all. But even though Kanda could have almost died back there in the oval, he couldn’t help but smile when he remembers what it felt like to feel the rush of adrenaline coursing in his veins. 

 

Now it’s all over. Since Kanda’s family happens to be really,  _ really  _ well-off, they decided to treat him with the rich boy lifestyle, which Kanda really did not want. Just around three months ago, Kanda was informed of his transfer to the outskirts; he’d live in a mansion situated near the lakes and forests where the abundance of nature was supposed to be good for his health and wellbeing. But to Kanda it was more like it was intended so that he’d be far away from forms of temptation to live life like a normal teenage boy. He’s sure the lakes and the trees were supposed to be some kind of therapeutic shit where he’d be inspired to live a life of peace and zen. But sucks for them because Kanda knows himself. And Kanda knows he’s going to bore his brains out and run back to civilization until his heart stops. 

 

So here is, sitting by the window and looking out to the trees leading to the forest. Dying from ennui and a weak heart. 

 

He isn’t alone. He has around four servants and an occasional doctor in the mansion. But they weren’t really his type of company. But then again, Kanda never did find out his type of company since he  _ is  _ very sheltered and closed off. And well, he is kind of an asshole who never gave people chances once he’s decided they’re not worth his time. He isn’t an asshole and a brat to his servants though. They were pretty decent and responsible and they didn’t bother him. He had to admit, he was intrigued by their conversations regarding the forest and the lake outside of the mansion. They talk about the locals’ stories  -the things they see in the forest, about the rustling of trees when there was no wind, the unexplainable chill in one’s bones at certain points, the eerie whistling of the wind and the crunching of leaves when they’re sure that  _ no one was there.  _  One even said he saw a rush of red that rustled the green trees, and he still doesn’t know what it could have been. The usual response would be scrutiny and doubt- ‘you’re just imagining it’ ‘maybe you’re tired’. But none of the other locals seemed to question it since they themselves must have experienced the peculiar too. 

 

Kanda believes in ghosts. He never really doubted their existence and he doesn’t find a reason that he should doubt them. There’s a lot of stories and evidences out there proving their existence (the internet is a wild place for that). But he doesn’t believe that all of them are out to seek revenge and wreak havoc in the world of the living. Whatever ghost is out there lurking meters away from the mansion, he hopes its a pleasant and generous one who isn’t too mad about a very large home taking a big chunk of its land area. 

 

So far, nothing bad has happened to him. And he hopes it stays that way. 

  
  


*

 

He is awakened by the lady servant at a late hour in the morning. She said that the doctor has to leave for the city before lunch time and would like to check for his vitals before he goes. Kanda complies, rubbing his eyes and stretching his bones with an audible pop. 

 

Taking a peek outside the window, he notes how the sky outside is dreary and grey, a scene expected on a typical autumn day especially in the city. Even here, the sky is dull and bleak. Not much difference from where he previously lived, proving his transfer to be useless. He doesn’t go out of the mansion to venture far because it always seemed to drizzle or rain when he was feeling inclined to. It was like a sign, he thought. A sign that he shouldn’t cross the set borders. Kanda shakes his head to clear his thoughts and descends down the stairs. 

 

“Oh good, you’re awake.” The burly doctor’s voice directs his attention to the doorway where he stands, large suitcase by his side on the floor and stethoscope around his neck. The man was apparently a bit late on his departure but he didn’t want to disturb Kanda’s rest. Kanda apologizes for keeping him waiting but the man waves it off and puts on the eartips. 

 

“Nothing out of the ordinary?” The doctor says as he lifts Kanda’s shirt and places the chestpiece around his chest and back. Kanda shakes his head and breathes in and out. A thumb is then placed under the skin of his eyes to gently pull down and take note of his inner eyelids’ color. “Looks like you’re good. Just call me when you’re feeling unwell, okay?” Kanda nods. The doctor takes his suitcase and waves goodbye.

 

Like always, he eats brunch alone on the dining table too large for a single young boy. He stares at the large window at the other end of the room, the clouds getting heavier and heavier as it blocks the sun and paints the sky darker. 

 

Kanda doesn’t feel like finishing his food. 

  
  


*

 

The following night, Kanda cannot sleep. The howling of the wind outside is eerie and loud, the whistling sounding ghost-like. It was causing his window to rattle in place and a branch from nearby tree to hit it, surprising him from time to time. It goes on and on and Kanda groans when he checks his phone for the time. For nearly three hours, he’s been restlessly tossing and turning in his bed, completely unable to shut his eyes and enter the realm of slumber. 

When he becomes fed up from the loudness of  _ everything _ , Kanda loses to his stupid temptation and rises from the bed, walks to the window and attempts to just open the window and sleep through the cold because  _ fuck this noise I want to sleep - the heater better just fight off the cold _ \- 

 

He stops. Before he unlocks the window, the corner of his eyes catches a glimpse of red. Instantly he brings his eyes to lock at the forest outside, the dark of night coloring the trees black like shadows, the only light coming from the full moon above. He squints his eyes, finding the source of the red he thought he saw just seconds ago. When all he sees is black, grey, and pale blue, Kanda rubs his eyes and deems it some kind of play of imagination after being up and cranky for so long. 

 

But just when he’s about to turn around, the red rises from the trees and hovers above the forest. Kanda gapes. He rubs his eyes again in case he was seeing things. But the red stays even after he makes sure he wasn’t dreaming. 

 

A cloud of red fog, light and airy and unearthly, floats solitarily under the full moon. There were hints of gold and green in the curls of smoke, but the red stood out like that of the red leaves on autumn trees. He’s never seen anything like this- he’s  _ sure  _ this isn’t something one witnesses on an ordinary day. 

 

He can’t wrench his eyes away. It should have looked disquieting,  _ foreboding _ . But somehow, to Kanda, looking at it brought him to a state of calm and ease. 

 

He sees it again the next day, when he’s sitting by the lounge enjoying his tea. A gust of wind flies by and the only reason he sees it is because of the red tinge. By then, Kanda can conclude that it’s  _ real  _ and that he wasn’t seeing things last night. He recalls what the locals say they saw around the area, and thought that maybe what he saw was the red form in their stories. He doubts that his imagination is being swayed by the stories, and that everything was just a result from his boredom. Kanda was  _ sure  _ of what he saw. And he was sure that it was real. 

 

The gust disappears into the forest. Kanda stands from his seat and leaves the cooled down cup of tea. 

 

He steps out of the mansion and hopes to some god that the heavy skies wouldn’t pour while he was outside. The grass and soil were moist from the rain early in the morning, and the smell of wet plants hit Kanda’s nose. He walks further away from his home and comes near the edge of the forest, eyes looking through the tangle of trees for an end he cannot find. He cannot see where the red wind went. As he takes a step forward, a step to enter the forest, a voice from behind jolts him from his exploration. 

 

“Kanda, sir. The rain is about to pour, please come back inside.” 

 

And sure enough, a droplet lands on his cheekbone. The heavens start to cry from a light drizzle to a steady rainfall, hindering Kanda from his search for red. 

  
  


*

 

Kanda is sick of sitting all day and staring at the screen of his phone. He is tired of reading books as well; he wasn’t an avid reader from the start anyway. He can’t stop thinking about the red thing that appeared in front of his eyes.  Succumbing to his curiosity and boredom (and taking advantage of his busy helpers, where 2 were out in the seaside town), his legs take him back outside of the mansion and in front of the forest. This time, the sky doesn’t look promising of rain, so he continues his search with nothing to hinder him. 

 

Upon entering the woods, a rush of cool air hits him and his cheeks turn red from the cold. He bites his bottom lip when he continues through the forest, walking in deeper and deeper, silently wishing that he had brought a jacket. The trees are high and their trunks are of different sizes, the leaves crunching underneath the soles of his shoes a myriad of autumn shades. The leaves of the trees block out the sun, so it gets colder and colder each step he takes. 

 

He hears a whistle of wind pass by him, then he hears it turn to path behind large mossy rocks. He follows the sound and tries not to lose it, walking fast then carefully climbing over the mossy rocks. What he’s doing was no doubt against everything his family and doctors told him not to do, but  _ dammit _ , for once, Kanda wants to do things his way. 

 

Even if it means-

 

...risking himself. 

 

The other side of the moss rock reveals a tranquil lake, a small spanse of soil the only footing available connecting the rock to the water. As Kanda slides down the rock, he plants his feet on the soil. But little did he know that the soil is wet and unstable. It collapses under his weight, sending Kanda down directly to the waters. 

 

He didn’t even have time to react or shout. Panic seeps into his bones when the surface becomes farther away. His feet cannot find the bottom of the lake. When the sudden need for air registers in his brain, that’s when he realizes how damned he was. He cannot swim - he was never taught how. He was never given the chance back then. Now the impact of his incapabilities hits him with full force. 

 

The struggle to escape is futile as his hands reach out to nothing. He feels his heart rate thumping faster and faster and he has to give up on trying to swim because he has to clutch his heart from the pain. His lungs give up on him as well as he gasps and swallows in water. His eyes start to give up on him too because the light at the surface is getting dimmer and hazier; Kanda thinks about giving up as well. 

 

He stops struggling. He closes his eyes and accepts the pain in his heart. Even until death, the pain and the bitterness is still there. He wonders: If there was a life after death, would he still be ill and bitter? Or would he finally have a purpose in life and be capable of fulfilling the things he only gets to dream? 

 

At his final moments of struggle, he feels a warmth enveloping his body. Like a gentle weight of air shaped into a person. It pulls him in a rush to what Kanda thought might be the after life, but the thought is shattered when his body is forced out of the water and brought back to the domain of land and air. 

 

He doesn’t remember much after that. The fatigue and shock from his near death experience renders his body limp and weak when he’s made to lie down on the grass. All he remembers is clinging to another body above him, like he was his only pillar from leaving the world of the living. He could feel it -see it even through hazy eyes- that there was a solid body with him. There was a hand pressing on his heart to prove it. Yet he could not shake away the feeling that he was holding onto something that was beyond the realm of this world. 

 

Then there was that shock of red and emerald that blended with the autumn trees. There were thin lips moving to say something he could not hear before the wind picks up, enclosing them from the world and making it easier to  _ breathe.  _ On his last seconds before he passes out cold, he hears a voice that chimes and mingles with the blowing wind and the rustling trees. 

  
_ Stay with me,  _ it says. 

**Author's Note:**

> In the end, I couldn't finish the story and decided to cut it into 2 or 3 parts. Please do look forward for the update, although it might be after laviyuuweek ;; This and the last fic for Rainbow are probably the only ones where I'm actually using all the prompts.


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